Monday, December 21, 2009

Humans Were Meant To Eat Meat

I love it whenever I read the title of this blog post or when someone tells me it. 'Humans were meant to eat meat'. People say it with such incredible confidence, yet they normally have absolutely no evidence that suggests that it is true. No sane human being can run down and kill its prey without the aid of some kind of crafted tool. These crafted tools were not available for thousands of years when the human race was still young. Therefore, humans could not have started out eating meat, unless they were like vultures and raccoons that ate only those animals that died of natural causes or were leftovers from some other animal's kill.

'But we possess canine teeth for a reason!' I love this argument as well. People with much more scientific knowledge than myself have already debunked this theory. My response to this is a little less scientific but quite a bit more thought provoking. Humans originally developed body hair to protect the body from cold, heat, UV rays, etc. We now have clothing for this purpose.

I say to you all, we have body hair for a reason. We should all run naked as nature intended us to. You crazed meat eater with your canine teeth, don't mind my dangling penis as we wait at the bus stop. I am human and I must adhere to my natural instincts. So what if we have a lot less hair than our primitive ancestors. We have to start living as nature intended.

A little far-fetched? Not really. When you listen to the arguments against veganism and how ludicrous they sound, I think we have a right to be just as ludicrous right back. Is saying this being a militant little vegan? No more than the folks driving around with the 'Support Canadian Beef' bumper stickers on the back of their vehicles. Besides, I'm really against clothing! It's restrictive, hurts the environment and is big waste of money.

So, the next time you're at a party and you're confronted by meat-eaters with the age-old theory of our need to eat meat, start strippin'.

(Yes, I know that no special weapon was needed to attack and kill shellfish in the caveman days. If that was all they lived on, man they must have had some kind of libido.)

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