8 Great Vegan Excuses

Yes, I know we shouldn't hide who we are. Sometimes, though, it's just easier that way. Keep in mind, this post is meant to be somewhat humorous! There are times where telling little white lies, instead of getting into the in-depth conversation about your diet, is acceptable. My parents are well into their 80's. These are people that come from the meat and potatoes era and when they were kids you were damn lucky to even have that - so they say... The incredible amount of stress it would cause them and myself to explain that I don't eat all the things they were brought up to know everyone had to eat (my Mom is famous for dipping bread in bacon grease, for Christ's sake!) is just not worth it for me. Besides, at their age, they'd forget the whole conversation ever happened and we'd have to go over the same thing at the next meal. (If you ever get a computer and happen to read this - Sorry, Mom and Dad!)

There are other times, as well, where you may be at a large or not so large dinner party with people you don't know and maybe don't feel all that comfortable around. This is also a time when you may want to avoid the spotlight attention that mentioning you're Vegan inevitably brings.

So, here's my list. I have used some. I have actually used more far-fetched excuses but I don't feel they are appropriate on this blog. I most likely will use some or all of these again on occasion. I'm sure you will too!

• I'm lactose intolerant. (the easiest)


• I have diarrhea. (the questions will cease immediately)


• I have a minor procedure tomorrow and can't eat anything for 24 hours. (a little far-fetched but good for a laugh. watch your spouse or significant other try and keep a straight face)


• Oh, I already took some meat, it's underneath my mashed potatoes. (this one works well. try and immediately draw attention to someone else at the table so that everyone doesn't continue to stare at your mashed potatoes)


• I'm part of a paid meat-deprivation experiment and I can only eat vegetables for the next couple of days. (this will draw just as much attention, but it'll be more fun because you're making up a whopper of a story)


• My wife is pregnant and even the scent of meat on me will make her vomit. (not good at the in-laws - unless you wife really is pregnant)


• My timing is all off today - I just had a huge meal before I came here - I'll just have some salad and maybe I'll take some left-overs home with me for later. (the most practical and easy excuse to pull off)


• I was picking away at the turkey in the kitchen while you were preparing this delicious feast and now I just want the mashed potatoes. (this is the one I pull on my parents - works every time)

Once again, I'd like to emphasize that we should never be embarrassed of who we are and we should try and promote our lifestyle choices whenever possible. But, sometimes you just have to lie like a rug!